The Importance of a Pre-Wedding Engagement Session

Couples

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If there’s one tip I could give to every couple on their wedding planning journey, it would be this: do not skip out on your engagement session. 

Trust me: as an intentional wedding photographer who cares deeply about every couple I get to collaborate with, I can’t speak highly enough about engagement sessions—and the way they set the tone for your wedding day before it ever arrives. These sessions are truly artistic collaborations that offer infinite opportunities for creativity, presence, and beautiful memories together, free of the pressure that often comes with the actual wedding day itself.

With that said, let’s chat about what engagement sessions even are, the many purposes they serve, and the 3 reasons you should absolutely say yes to yours.

Common Engagement Session FAQ’s

Before anything else, let’s answer a few common questions about engagement sessions and the logistics of planning yours.

What is an engagement session?

If you’ve spent any time in the wedding planning world, then I assume you’ve heard the term “engagement session”—not to be confused with a proposal, when the initial engagement itself happens—but may not know exactly what it means. An engagement session is simply a photoshoot you plan with your photographer to celebrate & document your engagement before the wedding day, no matter when the actual proposal occurred. 

Do we really need an engagement session?

Engagement sessions have become a tad controversial in the wedding industry, as couples sometimes question whether or not they are really necessary. I can’t blame you if you’ve wondered the same—after all, doesn’t it just turn into another task to add to your already never ending pre-wedding checklist?

But my answer to the question of “do we really need an engagement session?” is always absolutely, absolutely YES. Because, with the right photographer who helps you plan an intentional, purposeful engagement session, it becomes so much more than simply a photoshoot to mark off your to-do list: it’s an opportunity to get creative, let your personalities shine, and spend meaningful time together before the big day arrives.

Do you use engagement photos for save-the-dates?

Absolutely! What you choose to do with your engagement photos is entirely up to you, and is different for every couple. A few great ways to make use of your beautiful engagement photos & show them off to the world:

  • Save-the-dates
  • RSVPs
  • Wedding website
  • Engagement party invites
  • Social media announcements
  • In your guestbook

And, of course, printing your engagement photos is always a fabulous idea. I am a BIG proponent of having tangible copies of both your engagement & wedding photos, and letting them live outside of simply your phone’s camera roll. The walls of your home, or set atop your coffee table inside of an heirloom album, are by far the most meaningful places to house your photos. 🤍

When should we take our engagement photos?

You can take your engagement photos anytime between your proposal & your wedding day. There are a few important things to consider when picking a date, though:

  • How long you’ll need to plan the session itself—e.g. shopping for outfits/accessories, sourcing props, obtaining proper location permits, etc.
  • When you want to send out your save-the-dates—make sure you leave enough time for your photographer to deliver the photos, and account for the time it’ll take to design, print, ship, mail them out, etc.
  • Seasonality/weather, and how it matches the vibe you’re envisioning for your shoot

3 Reasons Every Couple Should Have an Engagement Session

Now, let’s dive into the 3 biggest reasons I recommend EVERY couple have an engagement session before their wedding. You’ll learn why it’s worth the investment, how it actually helps you craft a better wedding day, and why it makes this season of your relationship so incredibly special.

1. It sets the tone for your wedding day & establishes guest expectations

When I said that your engagement session sets the tone for your wedding, I meant it. You might be wondering how a photoshoot months before the big day could have such an impact—it’s because your engagement session is a low-pressure, purely fun atmosphere for you to step into those wedding vibes before the day actually arrives. 

The way you approach your engagement session is a reflection of how you will approach your wedding: will you prioritize being present and thoughtful with every decision you make? Are you dreaming up a laid-back, casual celebration or something way more dazzling & luxurious—and how can you translate that same vision into your engagement session?

Additionally, when your guests see your engagement photos on your wedding website, save-the-dates, or social media, it’ll give them a real sense of what they might expect from the wedding day.

Because here’s a secret: MOST people don’t get the dress code totally right. So I’m of the camp that announcing your dress code ahead of time, maybe with a little bit of Pinterest inspiration—or if you’re going formal, leaning on the fancier side of things in your engagement session to nudge the full vision—is the best way to give your guests a chance to really go for it. 

Whether you’re embracing a fully themed wedding or are envisioning a classic black-tie affair, providing guests with moodboards for color palette inspiration & overall wardrobe/styling vibes ahead of time is a complete game changer in elevating the look and feel of your wedding photographs.

2. It’s a chance to take risks you likely won’t take on your wedding day

– Taking risks that you likely won’t take on your wedding day (in styling, fashion, props, posing, activities) 

You’ve been musing, dreaming, planning, for months by this point; now it’s time to see how it will actually play out… even if you’re not experiencing the actual wedding day itself. Think of your engagement photos as somewhat of a test run: a low-pressure way to experiment, play around, and see what your vision looks like when it’s actually brought to life. 

It’s often much easier to take risks during your engagement session that you likely won’t take on your wedding day—think styling, fashion, props, posing, activities… maybe that means you book a room at a sultry, sexy hotel and play around with editorial poses on the luggage cart, like Phoebe & Henry did (below). Always feel free to play around with up & coming bridal trends like these during your session, too—just like Phoebe did with her gorgeous lace gloves.

Or maybe for you, taking risks means going bolder with your fashion than you normally would: wearing statement jewelry, trying out new accessories, or strolling through the city streets with a designer handbag on your arm—like Maddie did during her & Graham’s luxury Detroit engagement. 

And I absolutely adore the way engagement sessions allow my couples and I to play around with posing, so much more than wedding days do—it’s significantly easier to get creative together when you don’t have a timeline you feel the need to rush through, or guests who you’re worried are waiting on you. 

3. It builds comfort & confidence in front of the camera

Speaking of posing during engagements versus wedding days, there’s a lot of contrast between how much I, as a photographer, feel compelled to direct, prompt, and produce a photoshoot—and how little I feel compelled to do that on a wedding day. Every moment during a wedding day feels authentic and emotionally charged in the best way. I love sitting back and allowing myself to be surprised and wowed by what naturally unfolds in front of me—and instead of moving my subjects (you!) like I would during your engagement session, I move myself. 

Except here’s the thing: if you simply show up to your wedding day having never met your photographer, with little to no experience in front of a camera, it’s easy to feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. Because of this, it can be super challenging to sink into the moment like you’d want to at your wedding, and to feel like you do need that posing/guidance from me.

Herein lies the beauty of an engagement session. You’ll have the chance to connect with your photographer before it’s ever time to step in front of the camera at your wedding, and will learn how to truly let go of any facade you feel the need to put on. Because weddings are not photoshoots—and if someone were to ask me what the secret is to getting good engagement and wedding photos (from the client side, OR the photographer side), I would tell them to be as present as possible. 

As a client, your photos come *alive* when YOU feel most alive—your energy does not lie. When you’re comfortable in front of the camera, you’ll be able to let go and have fun with your people on the big day. You have no idea how much you glowwwww when you’re living in the moment with your person, be it during your engagement session or the moment you share your first kiss as a married couple.

Tips for Making Your Engagement Photos Cohesive With Your Wedding Day

It’s incredibly important that your engagement session is cohesive with your wedding day so that your guests know what to expect—and to ensure all of your photos work together beautifully in future photo albums, across your stationery (from save-the-dates to thank-you cards), etc.! With that said, here are a few techniques to help make your engagement photos cohesive with your wedding day vision.

Location

Location is everything when it comes to planning your engagement shoot & making sure it matches the vibe you’re going for. 

What do I mean by this? Let’s say you’re tying the knot at a gorgeous tropical home on the beaches of Hawaii (like Sasha & Evan), with a palette full of vibrant summer colors, decor bursting with life and energy, and you’re dreaming of bright blue skies. Your engagement session could take place somewhere with a similar atmosphere, such as a tropical garden or greenhouse brimming with lush greenery, florals, and pops of color galore. This would easily create a perfectly cohesive set of engagement photos to match your future wedding day, and would give guests a fabulous idea of what to expect!

By no means does this mean that you can’t take engagement photos that capture a different mood—maybe you want this outdoor greenhouse energy and the moody, sexy romance that comes with late-night flash photos in a hotel bar. You can ABSOLUTELY do both, and just make sure that the photos you choose to feature on your save-the-dates, wedding website, etc. are in line with the expectations you want guests to have for your special day.

I loooove a good luxury hotel like this or this for more formal engagement sessions, or a cozy in-home shoot like this for something a bit more laid-back.

For all my Seattle area couples—be sure to peruse my guide to the 14 Best Locations for Seattle Engagement Sessions.

Styling

I know I said that location is everything, but so is styling. As a photographer who draws much of her inspiration from fashion and art, it is the biggest joy of my LIFE getting to help couples feel fabulous in front of my camera through offering styling advice & outfit guidance. I looove helping you find the perfect accessory, the perfect suit, the perfect whatever you need in order to feel & look like your best self in front of my lens—and I always encourage couples to play around with styling during their engagement photos. Again, this is the time to take risks you probably won’t take on your wedding day… so don’t be afraid to explore outside of your comfort zone.

If you’re looking for some bridal-themed engagement outfit inspo, these New York Bridal Fashion Week Trends are a perfect place to start.

Storytelling

My biggest tip for creating an engagement session that isn’t just about posing for photos, but telling an actual story: incorporate activities! 

Find something you love to do together and include it as part of your session to build a more organic, narrative feel to your photos (and to your experience). This could be as simple as starting your session at a coffee shop to grab a drink & transitioning to a slow stroll through a park nearby, or hitting up your local arcade for beers and games. It could also be something as grand as booking a seaplane ride over the city, or anything in-between—like enjoying drinks and apps at a scenic rooftop bar.

Anything you can do to encourage your session to feel more like a date, or something you’d naturally do together, will create a completely different & more candid energy in your photos—compared to the stiffness you may feel if you’re simply posing for the sake of posing.

Are you getting as excited as I am about your engagement session?! I hope so—because you deserve to have an absolutely incredible & unforgettable experience celebrating this season of your lives. I would be HONORED to be a part of it. Reach out now so we can get your session on the books, and begin the exciting planning process together 🥂

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